Archive for March, 2013

The True Value Of A Blog Post

In the last few weeks, the value of words on a blog has come up a number of times. In my Eroticon workshop I encouraged writers to put a monetary value to their writing, and stick with it. Be proud of the money that your words can earn. In a few conversations surrounding Eroticon, the topic of sex toy reviews came up, and the relationships between the sex toy retailers and the bloggers. Then today, another sex toy company has come into my twitter timeline after a contest for “best blogger” turned into a complete PR nightmare when it was exposed how the actual contest worked. Coming from a world where my words are written primarily for monetary gain, I may be coming at this from a slightly cynical standpoint, so forgive me if I sound like a black cloud.

In full disclosure, I feel I should advise you of the following – I write for a sex toy web site that does seek out bloggers to review their products. (I also work with one who doesn’t.) I run my own sex toy web site and I currently don’t supply sex toys in exchange for reviews. In addition, I have a reviews subdomain where I review sex toys and other sexy things. Do what you will with that info. 

I have real worry that there are sex toy review bloggers out there that think that the sex toy companies are seeking them out for their “craft” – their writing skills, their way with words, their opinion on a particular sex toy. Sure, there are the few small sex toy traders out there that may do that, and I can think of a couple off the top of my head that may. But for the vast majority, all sex toy bloggers are is a source of backlinks, link juice, PR, and on a minor level – outreach to potential customers. A sex toy web site that gets 75,000+ pageviews a day isn’t going to be that fussed about the hundred or so that you could potentially send. (Unless you’re what they call a “whale” in the gambling and affiliate marketing world – then it’s a whole other story and a whole other blog post.)

Keep going…I want more…

Eroticon Drop – My (Hopefully) Therapeutic Post

I’m sat here in my hotel room, packed and almost ready to go, in the midst of a second round of Eroticon drop.

My day was very mixed yesterday. A fast start to the morning, mind spinning with the previous day’s events mixed with a lack of sleep put me in a strange state. Amazing workshops leading up to lunch filled me with mental to-do lists and a desire to get home and get back to work. Not in a “I want to leave” way, but a “I want to use all this new info” way.

Then the downward spiral started.

Took part in a panel in the afternoon, that, for a number of reasons, didn’t live up to my expectations. Porn-bashing in the last panel I attended took a bit of wind out of my sails. I’ve been told that the last speaker of the day was amazing, and even though I was in the room and interested in what was being said, I was dealing with problems on one of my highest earning affiliate sites, so I wasn’t “there” in my head.

Then it was all done – the workshops, the learning, the connecting with new friends and reconnecting with old ones. I have to admit, my shitty afternoon made me feel slightly robbed.

Things improved in the evening, when I went out to dinner with a collection of people that I would give my right arm to be in their presence for any amount of time…all there at one table. Molly, Michael, Harper, Rachel, Rebelle & Master T, RG, Muse, Mia…my fangirl moments, all at the same table as me…a porn writer. Part of me didn’t feel worthy to be around them, part of me wanted to hold onto each of them and not let them go…or me go…

But, I had to – let them go, and let me go….as in Ruby. It was time to go back to Sarah.

Please don’t get me wrong. Going back to Mrs and toddler is something I’ve wanted to do since I stepped out of the car on Friday afternoon. They are the reason I do it all. What surrounds them…that’s what is giving me the second round of drop. Small town England where the idea of a great night out is leaving your kid with your ex while you go to the shitty pub in town, get trashed and high and puking in the street – at the age of 35. Sharing those pictures on your Facebook timeline the next morning. Going to toddler playgroups and seeing them used as ways to pick up chicks rather than pay attention to your kid that’s crying for your attention. Where if word ever got out that I write adult materials I’d be transformed from “That American lesbian” to “That porn-writing American lesbian”. No adult conversations around sex, writing, BDSM, life, love other than that from my amazing wife….

My drop is a disconnection.