It’s been a little over three weeks since I shared this post about my anxiety, depression, and going back on meds. I’ve had some folks DM me for an update, so I thought I’d let folks know how I was coming along.

First, I want to thank all those who reached out to me and encourage me on the post, and my decision to go back on medication. Your love is appreciated.

I’ve been on 20mg of Celexa for about 20 days. The first ten days or so was a very mixed bag. The overwhelming anxiety started to take a back seat around day three, but I was absolutely exhausted. It was like Benedryl mixed with Vicodin and a side of red wine 24/7. I found it really hard to function, doing a few hours of work, stopping for a nap, then doing a few more. My appetite took a nosedive – I’ve lost around seven pounds in those three weeks. I knew that this was a temporary thing and that I needed to push through this initial phase before I’d see what my new normal would be like.

I’m starting to come out the other end of that tunnel. I have days where I feel really good – energy levels back to where I was, back to spending time outside my room with Em and T. I did surprisingly well yesterday given that I was in a house full of my family (one of my triggers during my hardest times) and I didn’t feel the need to go hide anywhere. Then I have days like today where one little minor thing (trolls attacking one of my Twitter accounts) sets me back and I want to get back under those blankets and cocoon. I get shaky and jittery. I know that it takes at least six weeks before things really even out, so I’m just working through what I can.

In three weeks the three of us are off to Disneyworld for a much needed family vacation. My hope is that my meds have helped me to get to a place where I don’t feel overwhelmed by the crowds, the anxiety about ‘not working’, and all the other little ridiculous things that have set me off in the last few months. I’m also hoping my energy levels stay consistent to keep up with my five year old (and…let’s be honest…the thirty something year old as well). Either way, things are moving in the right direction.

So yeah. That’s where my brain is at the moment.

Filed under: The Body of Ruby

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