While on Twitter tonight, I saw a retweet originally from Kate S Loree, LMFT:
“There seems to be very little age appropriate education for teens drawn toward #BDSM that need to learn about safety, boundaries, etc.”.
I immediately tweeted my agreement, and started to recall the way I found my way into the world of bondage and dominance in my teenage years….
The first definite time when I recall exploring this lifestyle was when I was 16 years old. I started frequenting the S&M chat rooms of Prodigy (a now defunct internet provider, similar to AOL), in rooms that were marked for those 18 years and older. It was one of those ‘role play’ rooms, populated by folks who were looking for Dominant or submissive other halfs.
I wasn’t very good at keeping my youth a secret, and soon there was a major debate as to whether “Leigh”, as I called myself online at that time, should be allowed to remain in the room, or if they should report me to the internet authorities. Thankfully, a few of the Doms / Dommes saw that I was there to learn, not to find a physical interaction at that time. When I turned 18, I started attending munches in my area, and once again found myself a new family that were there to teach me. As I grew more comfortable with my new ‘family’, I started going to clubs and parties. I was an oddity, it seemed. I was the youngest at most of these events – easily by 15 years or so. I got a lot of attention, being so young, with my then teen-sized body and a 34HH bra size. That attention got me into a few sketchy scenarios, but also got me into the world of being a professional performing submissive. Slowly, carefully, I maneuvered by way through the ‘ropes’, always having a Dom or Domme watching over me, never wanting anything in return other than the satisfaction of teaching me. I started off assisting the Dom with their sessions – never the one taking the pain. Then being the one that the Doms ‘warmed up’ on, before moving onto their more hardcore actions with their main submissive. Later on, I started taking center stage, both in the public performances, and in the bedrooms of the Dominants that I started relationships with.
In college, I kept my D/s life a secret. Sure, I had a few lovers who liked to spank and whatnot, but for the most part they were the typical horny college guy who just wanted to get off. I also had my other life – longer term Doms and Dommes that I started to become sexually involved with. I lived in a triad for a few months before the couple (who had never taken in a sub before) decided that it wasn’t the best thing for their relationship. Through out it all, for my four years at college, I worked in S&M clubs, getting out my exhibitionist desires multiple times a week. Always building slowly, though, as I had been taught in those chat rooms and munch meetings.
I often ask myself what would have happened if I had been booted from those adult chat rooms, and never made those early connections with BDSM role models? Would I have just gone straight to the clubs? I probably would have found a Dom or Domme who would be eager to take on a newbie like me, but possibly for all the wrong reasons. Thankfully, I always had elders to look after me, to keep ‘Little Leigh’ safe from the Doms and Dommes that were known for all the wrong reasons. But what if I hadn’t? What if I was a teen today, without these rooms and munches to turn to and gain acceptance? I almost don’t want to think about it….
Edited to add….
When I was spending times in the chat rooms, I learned of a highly respected sub, and her tale. It’s one that always stayed with me, even to this day. Cold’s Story is one to know and remember.
Filed under: History & Whatnot
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