Something happened while I was at Erotic Meet last weekend. I wouldn’t call it an event, or even a moment. it was an interaction that brought forward a question that has been playing in my mind – for really the better part of a decade and a half. A shadow that’s always lurked in the back of my head that makes me question my own desires and how I label myself.
Let me explain.
I standing outside with a group of ladies (most of who I know identify as submissive), as well as a single male dominant, getting some air and socializing. We were discussing a new toy that had been brought to the party. I’m not sure of it’s real name, but I call it a ‘vampire paddle’ – a paddle with small spikes attached, like those on a vampire glove. In a previous week, one of the submissive in the group had shown it’s power with her Sinful Sunday post (a warning if you click the link – it is bloody). In addition, the Dom had brought along His own toy, an ‘evil stick’ – a single bendable filament attached to a small handle.
I did handle the toys myself – appreciating the thuddy weight of the paddle’s flat side, and the construction of the spikes on the other. Taking the evil stick and flexing it between my fingers, admiring the simple construction. I had felt the bite of these types of evil sticks before, as a gentleman who used to run munches I regularly attended in the States makes them and sells them online. I was happy enough with that interaction, and handed them back to the Dom after my once-over.
This is where I feel like I was ‘different’.